This is the second in a series I’m doing on the top 4 Google results for “How to be…”
Realize that most people don’t think about you too much.
The people who do care about you do it regardless of your faults. My freshman year of college, a girl told one of my friends that she hated the way I dressed. I was hurt. But she wasn’t the type of person I’d become friends with, anyway. The close friends I had, and still have, love the unique way I dress, giggle at my eclectic hairstyles (and take pictures) and love and respect me for who I am inside, regardless of if I was a beauty or a beast.
Think about something else instead. Regardless of what you know in your head, your self-confidence is shaky at best. But when you have another purpose, something else to think about, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to be confident and at ease. I know many people who are really fun to be around just because they try to make sure everyone is doing okay. They ask about OTHER people, say encouraging things, listen, and contribute only when it will be good for the whole group. These people, no surprise, tend to have a LOT of friends, but not even realize it.
Regardless of how you set it up in your head, though, if you go out constantly thinking about yourself and what others think of you, you WILL be self-conscious and timid. I’ve tried this so many times. The best remedy that I’ve learned is to:
a) realize it doesn’t matter what most people think. They’ll never see you again.
b) have an overriding purpose that trumps being socially successful, beautiful, smart, etc. The fact that God came to earth and saved us is mine. Everything else slightly pales in comparison. When I can focus on that, and what I can do for him (which isn’t always or even most of the time :p), then I’m confident and what others say doesn’t matter. 🙂
That’s all. Are you confident? What helps you have unshakable confidence?